Andrew Santoso

You Can't Speak Mandarin?

"Yee bay cha"

The old woman working the tea cart gives me a blank stare.

Ah, shit. My accent is horrible.

I repeat myself. Still nothing. Dammit—I just want a cup of tea.

Then the Chinese woman next to me examines me up and down,
"You can't speak Mandarin?"

No. I can't.

But to the average onlooker, this is absurd.

I'm ethnically Chinese. Culturally Indonesian. Socially American.

So indeed—why the hell doesn't this Chinese face come with the language installed?